Never Been a Fan of Goodbyes

The decision has been made, I'm going home.

I know your probably wondering why just two posts down I was talking about having faith and enduring to the end, but those phrases have come to mean very different things the past few days for me.

The pain in my stomach has not subsided much and I have been spending many sleepless nights wondering what would be the best thing for me to do. I have prayed countless times and hours. I tried picking between staying and going and then asking for a conformation but none came for a while.

The other day while I was praying amidst my exhaustion, I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later with a phrase repeating in my head "McKae, I think it's time for you to go home."

Now, I know we all have our own ways of receiving advice and inclinations, mine usually comes in the form of an awful knot in my stomach when something needs to change. Seeing as there were many other things going on in my stomach at the time, I probably wouldn't have noticed the feeling, so Heavenly Father tried a different route.

The prompt hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, I had been wondering if that would be the right thing for me to do, but it surprised me how right it felt.

I know that this project that Aria and I have been sent here to participate in, is truly inspired. President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that this country will rise up despite its tragic recent history. One way that these wonderful people can reach their fullest potential is through education. Natalie recognized this need and did everything in her power to make this possible and I am honored to be a part of it.

I can't say that my time here has been of any or much help to this project and these deserving people but I know, without a doubt, that they have been of more help to me than I deserve. No matter how short my stay has been, I have learned so very much. I have learned that no matter how dire our situations may be, there is always reason to smile. I learned that these little children are the dearest of angels and they will grow up to be very kind and inspirational people. And I learned to never forget that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us, and most of the time it may not be the plan we have for ourselves :).

That's where faith and enduring to the end come into play. I now have to have the faith that this decision is what's best for me, and that I need to get feeling better so that I can go on and help further at a later time. And I have to realize that enduring to the end could mean that I need to keep faith in His plan for me and my life, no matter where it takes me.

     I want to thank Botevy and Venneth for having the courage to take these kids in and making them, as well as us, part of your family.
     I want to thank the kids for being so darn cute and giving me countless hugs.
     I want to thank Natalie for starting this project and being such a go-getter and an amazingly understanding person.
     I want to thank Aria for being such a good sport and an fantastic person, I couldn't have made it this far without you sis. And, I know that you are going to do wonders with these kids and this project. Your pioneer ancestors would be so proud!
     I want to thank Yaya and Sunny for taking care of me and being the best big sisters a girl could ask for.
     I want to thank my dear Mother for listening to my whiney self, and still loving me anyways.
     I want to thank my Dad, Sister, and Brothers for being the best family and supporting me in my accomplishments as well as my failures.
     I want to thank Kathryn Hadley for her to-die-for cinnamon rolls
     I want to thank my little home town of Connell for buying those cinnamon rolls and helping me raise the money for this opportunity, I couldn't have made it here without you.
     I want to thank my dear friends in Hawaii, I have the best support system in the world.
and I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I couldn't have done it without that help as well.

So, Aloha 'Oe Cambodia.
Until we meet again.

Videos for Weeks Two & Three

... and here they are!

Lets Talk in Khmer

Thought it was time for a little language lesson, I know it's not much, but this is what I've picked up. Khmer(Kim-eye) is the same thing as Cambodian. It is written in symbols that I cannot decipher but here's how they sound using English letters.

Jim bleep sue................ Hello
Jim bleep lee................. Goodbye
Ah kon............................ Thank You
Ah kon chi ran............... Thank You Very Much
Sup sa bye tae................ How Are You?
Ne yom sup sa bye........ I am fine
Muy, Bee, Bye................ 1,2,3

...and there you have it. 

Week One Video

I finally finished compiling some of the footage we took our first week here. Hopefully I'll have weeks 2 and 3 up soon too. 

Enjoy!

Oh, the Joys of Being Sick

So, the thing I was most worried about happened, I got sick, kinda like mega sick. I guess that's why they say to think positively because the things you think about tend to happen. I'm a firm believer of that.

Last Friday, Aria and I woke up feeling kind of blah but, it wasn't enough to set us back at all. We went to the orphanage and had one of the most amazing days. The kids were insanely hyper and we had to muster all the energy we had just to keep up with them. But it got down to music time and the cutest thing happened. It started to rain as we were trying to come up with a good song to sing (we know a lot of rain songs). Aria started singing "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music and the kids just sat and watched. After I joined in and we finished the song, it was only natural to start in with "Doe, a dear, a female dear." Now the kids practically had their faces propped up by their hands and were watching in amazement. They periodically chimed in with Re! Me! Fa! at the appropriate times. I was laughing on the inside wishing that our camera had not just died only 20min earlier because, as Aria later put it "Our lives are seriously a mixture of Sound of Music and The King and I".

And that's not all. By the time class was over, it was raining too hard to bike home so we got to stay and play with the kids a bit more. Then came the frog, instinctively when little animals come around my inner child comes out and I have to play with it (much like wanting to cuddle with the monkey). I asked Aria to catch it for me so I wouldn't have to go out into the rain but to no avail, before I knew it I was out there chasing the frog. Some of the kids ran out to and we had a blast! Aria and I got pulled under and waterfall falling from the roof and got drenched! Then it was on! We danced out in the rain as the water fight raged on around us, mostly pointed at us. Sadly none of that was caught on camera either. 

Our bike ride home was great without having to worry about staying dry. I've never been more thankful for hot showers though. We washed up and took Airborne right away but... we still got sick. 

The next day we thankfully had enough energy to take a moto ride with Sunny and her "brother" (He told me they were family, Yaya said he is like family... and I'm confused) to the market (we were completely out of food). But we were out like a light as soon as we got home. 

The kids were throwing a going away party for Natalie that night because her flight was leaving on Monday. It was so. much. fun! We ate pho (soup), the kids danced a few traditional Khmer dances for us (they are seriously so talented), and we partied it up. We danced to a lot of Bieber and One Direction and had a BLAST! We taught them the Cotton-Eyed Joe and they tried to teach us a line dance of their own, I could not pick it up for the life of me. Our stomachs were thankfully able to handle all the jumping, dancing, and fist pumping but by the end of the night I was about done in.

Then next day my stomach pains moved all the way up to right below my ribs as well as my lower abdomen. I, being privy to stomach problems my whole life, had never actually felt this kind of pain before. Needless to say, I was worried and, it was even more of a bummer when Aria and Natalie got to go to church with the kids and I couldn't even move from the bed. I laid in the same position all day, hoping that my minimal movement would make the pain go away. 

I figured that maybe it was all caused by my body finally adjusting to the food, but I had been eating it for 2 weeks already. So Natalie put me on a strict diet of no more Khmer food, only fruits and veggies I can peel, and bread. Sad, but I was ok with that. 

Monday morning she woke me up early saying that she couldn't sleep the night before (I couldn't much either) and she had a feeling that I should go to the hospital as soon as possible. I know enough to go along with feelings or impressions so Yaya took me right away. 

We went to a Khmer hospital, therefore I didn't know a single word the doctors were saying but just went right along with it. They took my temperature, blood pressure, gave me a shot in my bum (great first experience) and took me to a room where I would be hooked up to an IV. So a little fact about me, I'm really not a needle fan... I doubt many people are, but being tired and quite frightened, I weeped like a baby. Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it. The nurse put the IV in my hand, wiggled it around quite a bit, took it out and stuck me again. All the while my other hand is cutting off the circulation in Yaya's as she was wiping my stream of tears.    Not a proud moment for me. 

As I lay there after, trying to gain my composure, Yaya looked over at me and said... "I think Jesus cried when they..." she stopped, not knowing how to explain in English, but motioned her index finger to her palm. I just nodded and said "I think he did too." I realized at that moment that she was completely right. Not only has Jesus felt the pain I was feeling, but he was able to handle ten billion times more. And I knew that I could too. So, I decided to keep truckin'.

Here's something cool about Cambodia... they take their IV's home with them. So, I quickly found two little bags of random colored pills thrust into my purse, the instruction not to eat anything but rice (most definitely not bread), and me shoved into the car, my IV-hand resting on the seat beside me as the other one held the fluid filled bag above my head. Yaya said that other CICFO (orphanage) volunteers have had to go to the hospital but none had to take an IV home with them, so I was special. I sure felt special. 

(As you can see, I was overjoyed)

The mystery pills did wonders but wore off quickly, and I ended up having to keep the IV in me for a full 6 1/2 very uncomfortable hours. The next day I didn't feel any better so I found myself experiencing deja vu minus the IV, thank goodness. I got more mystery miracle pills to last me a day, and the instruction to now only eat rice and bread, no fruits or sweets. 

The next day I was still painfully ill, my resolve to continue was slowly fading, and I was just plain grumpy. I didn't know what I could or couldn't eat, not that I had much of an appetite anyways, and I felt like the doctors were guessing just about as much as I was. So, I decided I wasn't going back. Yaya and Sunny wouldn't take no for an answer so we compromised by deciding to take me to the international hospital further away.

Friends and family had encouraged me to get a blessing to really figure out what I need to do. Wether it be to have faith and stick it out a bit longer, or fly home and get medical help there. After all, I wasn't being much help to our project anyways. Aria, being the absolute champ she is, had completely taken over every aspect of teaching the kids for an entire week as I lay in bed day after day. So, feeling lost and completely useless, I agreed that a blessing sounded like a great idea. 

Aria and I ran into a missionaries about a week earlier who were super happy to talk with us, and I found they were more than willing to help me out. It was one of the sweetest blessings I had ever received. I left knowing the Heavenly Father really is mindful of the struggles I was going through and that there was something I needed to learn from this experience. Wether it be to trust more in Him or that I needed to gain a greater compassion for the kids and the even harder struggles they have been through. 

Things at the hospital started looking up as well when I found out that my doctor was this funny French guy who laughed and joked the whole time. The humor kinda made me forget about how sick I was feeling. He asked about the previous hospital I had been to. When I told him that I had no clue what they had given me as medication, he was surprised, and wrote in his notes "Went to bogus hospital." Although I do agree somewhat, I commend them on their mystery miracle pills. 

That night I came home feeling so much better, emotionally and physically. I hoped that I was finally on the homestretch. After two days of testing we found out that I most likely have Gastroenteritis, which according to wikipedia is...

a medical condition characterized by inflammation ("-itis") of the gastrointestinal tract that involves both the stomach ("gastro"-) and the small intestine ("entero"-), resulting in some combination of diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal pain and cramping
(TMI...I know)

and...

Transmission may occur due to consumption of improperly prepared foods or contaminated water or via close contact with individuals who are infectious.

and I can get rid of it through...

adequate hydration. For mild or moderate cases, this can typically be achieved via oral rehydration solution. For more severe cases, intravenous fluids may be needed (That darn IV probably was actually a good idea)

and...

Gastroenteritis primarily affects children and those in the developing world. (That's me... minus the child part)

Cool. So that's that I guess. 
I felt almost back to normal all of yesterday, which was oh so wonderful. 
But by the time I settled in for bed watching the 4th Fast and Furious (Yes, we had a marathon... don't judge) the pain came back and hasn't left. 

Through all of this, I know that it is all happening for a reason, and that I just need to hang tight just a bit longer. Heavenly Father wont leave me stranded. 


Before I left, my friend Yao (love that kid to death) gave me a book entitled The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield, in the front of the book he wrote: "I thought you might have some time in life in Cambodia, when you're feeling discouraged, lonely, or whatever it may be, I want you to read this book (and sleep :))". He is truly inspired, Yao is. So, I took his advice and read quite a bit this past week. As I was reading, I came across this quote which it has made all the difference. 

"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman."

Max Lucado

First I was thinking about myself (it was under the chapter Believe in Yourself) and how I was created, with the struggles I would have to go though, in the Creator's mind. He will never give me anything that I am not able to handle. 

Then my mind turned to the kids, the whole reason I am here. They were placed in their family situations, and in the orphanage, and in my life for a reason. Heavenly Father has a plan for them as well and right now I am meant to be a part of it. 

So, with that resolve, I am going to have faith, I am going to keep going, I am going to look for the positives, and I am going to fulfill my purpose here, so that the kids may fulfill theirs. 

Siem Reap Weekend

Our first weekend was seriously one of the best weekends of my life. Like literally, I'm not just saying that because its one of the only weekends I've ever blogged about.

We evaluated/pre-tested the kids Friday morning, in order to figure out where they are at, English-wise, so we have an idea of where to start. This part was tricky. See, Wizard has donated curriculum to our foundation (ICHope) so that we will be able to teach English to the kids efficiently. But, we have not received that curriculum yet, and wont until the middle/end of October. So we're over here grasping at straws to come up with organized and efficient ways to teach the kids without confusing them. This is super difficult seeing as Aria and both have never been trained in teaching English. She is a Music major and I am studying International Cultural Studies. But we're learning. 

That night a group of us went to the river-side of Phnom Penh to wait for the night bus that would take us to Angkor. Our group consisted of Me, Aria, Natalie, Botevy, her little 5 year old son, Vanneth (the other founder of the orphanage), Yaya (Botevy's daughter), Botevy's mother, and Pattica, Chet, and Li Nah who are all three kids from the orphanage. A while ago Botevy was able to take the kids on a trip to Angkor but these three had other things going on at the time, so now it was their turn to go. And I'm so glad they came, it gave us time to get to know them in a different light.

Pattica is 18 and one of the smartest people I know. He can speak English very well and was the most amazing tour guide and translator for us. His goal is to go to college and study politics so that he can come back here and help develop his country for the better. He wants to, one day, rid his country of corruption. And if anyone can do it, this kid can. 

Chet is 15, he is such a sweetheart and has the most darling smile. Just being around this kid could make anyone happy. I'm so glad we got to spend the weekend with him. He is a quiet person but he seriously helps carry our class so much when we teach, he is picking up on everything super fast. 

And then there's little Li Nah. Now this girl has seriously stolen my heart. She is the cutest little 8 year old Vietnamese girl I've ever met. She has the most open heart, and was holding our hands and hugging us the whole entire time. She is a quiet little one, but after the weekend she was talking to us a lot in Khmer. We barely understood her at all but we were so stoked she was saying something. So yeah, I've decided I'm taking her home with me ;).

While waiting for the bus we went and got ice cream (like the good gelato kind... for only a dollar), watched a little concert, and river-danced next to the river (ironic) outside an Irish pub. 

I was so stoked when I saw what the night bus was. It's a double decker bus just like the one on Harry Potter! Well aside from the beds being on wheels and the shrunken head in the window, it was practically the same thing. So we spent the 6+ hour trip to Siem Reap sleeping on the bus. My neck killed afterwards but it was an awesome experience.

 Top Left: Pattica Top Right: Vanneth, Li Nah, and Chet

Bottom Left: Botevy, Natalie Bottom Right: Yaya, Botevy's son, Botevy's Mother

We got into Siem Reap and went right to our hotel. Nataile, Aria, Li Nah, and I all walked down the street a bit to find food and found this little cafe place with the BEST pizza in the world. Seriously, I think it was even better than the pizza I had in Italy. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Botevy hired us two tuk tuks for the entire weekend, who were both really sweet. Ours looked like a Cambodian version of the guy off of Thirteen Going on Thirty.

The afternoon after we arrived we went to the Cambodian Cultural Village and spent the entire evening there. It's a lot like the PCC, with lots of shows, dancing, and stories. Botevy and Pattica translated for us, so we understood slightly what was going on. When we got to the night show and Botevy was translating to Natalie but I was too far away so her little son was filling me in by saying "They both died"..."But he's not dead, he's just sleeping". I don't think I understood any of the story, but man that kid is cute. 

After the night show went to the night market. It was way cool, there we're tons of little shops open and music playing throughout the streets. After walking around a bit we all decided to muster up our courage and get a fish foot massage. Aka, we stuck our feet in a tank of hundreds of fish and had them eat off us. Its probably the grossest thing and they probably feed us the fish later but it was pretty cool. 

The next morning we went to church at the local branch there. We got to wear those cool headphones that foreigners use while someone translates to them. The day before, we had met two sets of missionaries while we were driving by in the tuk tuk. We just happened to be stopping less than a block away so we went back and talked to them for a minute. One of them commented no how long it had been since he shook a girls hand. I keep forgetting they don't shake hands or wave much over here. Anyway, those same elders were the ones in the ward and the ones translating for us. I was excited when I saw them and subconsciously waved. I think it made them feel awkward. 

At church we also met this super sweet young couple who is living in west Singapore. The husband was teaching accounting down there was just visiting Siem Reap for the weekend, like us. It's so much fun meeting people from all over the world here. 

After church Aria, Pattica, Chet, and I all went to visit the old temples in Angkor. They were breathtaking. In that area there are about 200 temples, but we only went to see 3 or 4 of the most popular. First we visited Angkor Wat. Pattica was the most amazing tour guide, he knows his country's history like the back of his hand. He was able to look at each engraving and tell us what it was depicting, why it was made and how. He even told us the story of how Cambodia came to be. Apparently the Cambodia and Thailand cultures are almost exactly similar. 

Botevy, Yaya, and Venneth came to meet us for lunch outside the temple. I ate chicken heart. Before we ate, Pattica asked Aria and I "Do you know what this is?" as held up the kabob of unfamiliar pieces of meet. We both said no and that we probably don't want to know until after we eat them. Yep, ended up being a chicken heart, and its intestines. Cool. Aria also ate a chicken foot, well tried to, there's barely any meat on it. I dont think I could've done it... feet gross me out, even when they're not fried.

After lunch, us kids went off again to explore more temples. I believe the next one we went to was Angkor Tom, this one looks like what you'd see in the Jungle Book, it was beautiful! 

Apsara Dancer (there are hundreds of depictions of Apsara Dancers 

on the temple walls but not a single one is the same)

Third temple was one we weren't planning on visiting, but the Thirteen Going on Thirty tuk tuk dirver suggest we go see it because it had just opened up after being renovated. There's a stone bridge going up to that one and Pattica said if we chant what we want the whole way across the it will come true. Aria, Chet, and I said "Happy Happy Happy" all the way across while Pattica was chanting "Success" and something else in Khmer. 

Photo credit: Aria Een

You'll never guess what happened at this temple... I got honor coded. Aria and I had stayed in our church clothes that day and so I was wearing a dress that I thought was to my knees. But as we got over the bridge a guard stopped me and showed me a sign with a skirt and that red "No" sign on top of it. I was confused and he said my skirt was too short. I told him I was really sorry and asked if it would be ok if I kept it pulled down. He reluctantly said yes. Once I got in the temple I realized that a modest dress code is not only respectful but also essential to climbing all the very steep staircases inside. So I tried to make everyone climb up before me. lol.

The last temple we visited was Ta Prohm aka the Tomb Raider temple. I have never seen Tomb Raider but now I think I would like to. It was my favorite temple of them all and probably one of my favorite places in the world. See the trees have grown over, around, and through the temples; and it is absolutely breathtaking. To think that this temple had been around so long that these massive trees could take it over. As we were walking away Pattica told us that trees are protecting the temple, and he is completely right, without these trees the temple would have fallen to pieces completely. Its interesting how one person might see them as destructive but another can see them as constructive. 

The best part of the day was yet to come! We drove a by car on the way to the Ta Prohm that had a monkey on top of it, eating a banana. I freaked out, I was so excited. After Ta Prohm we saw a ton just on the side of the road, so the tuk tuk driver (now my favorite person in the entire world) pulled over next to them!!! One of the monkeys quickly came up and climbed on our tuk tuk next to Chet, I died inside, I want to cuddle with it so bad. Pattica threw it a banana and it jumped off and ran to eat it. But then there was this fat old one who was sitting on the curb just chillin, peeling a banana too. He reminded me of an old grandpa sitting in a rocking chair. We watched it for a little while, while I was hyperventilating with excitement. Then, sadly, we had to leave but I was seriously grinning ear to ear the entire way back to the hotel. 

We met this American family staying in the room next to us who lives more in the rural areas of Cambodia. They decided to visit a very poor community and help implement health care and have been there since 2001 I believe. They sew up wounds, treat snake bites, etc. They showed us pictures and I had to try and politely look away. I have a very weak stomach in general but especially when it comes to blood and wounds. Aria took it like a champ though. I really really admire doctors and nurses and anyone else who can help in that way because I honestly don't think I ever could. It was really fun to talk to them though and it see what they think of living here in Cambodia for so long. 

The next morning we left to go back home. This time the seats in the bus were regular and Aria and I got to sit in the top front seats. Which was way cool. I have officially ridden on a double decker bus. 

So that was our weekend in Siem Reap. It was so much fun! Being a tourist and sightseeing is one of the greatest experiences ever. But, getting back to everyday life in Phnom Penh was really great too. 

Aloha from Cambodia

I have arrived!

The trip was a long one, but surprisingly not bad at all. Our first flight from Honolulu to Incheon, Korea was about 9hrs long, but Korean Air treats it's passengers like royalty. We had the individual screens that played all of the newest movies I watched The Lucky One (I have a soft spot for Nicholas Sparks while traveling), What to Expect When You're Expecting (that one's for you, Paris), and parts of Men in Black III, and that weird Johnny Depp/Tim Burton movie about the vampire. We also got two nice meals, hot towels, and room to spread out. All in all, Korean Air.... highly recommended.

We had a blast during our 3hr layover in Korea, we made ink traditional Korean letters to take home with us, spent $4 on gelato (it's only $1 here in Cambodia), and ate legit pho. Our second flight from Korea to Phnom Penh, Cambodia was about 5hrs long. That one was great too, I just really started to get restless. 

We were quite surprised at how quickly everything went, from checking-in in Honolulu to customs in Phnom Penh. We we out of the airport in no time. After a long 18hrs of traveling we were so happy to be greeted by Botevy, her daughter Yaya, and her little son Rissai (thats how it sounds, not quite sure how they spell it) who ran up and gave us all huge hugs. Botevy is one of the two founders of CICFO, the orphanage that we are helping out at. She has the most amazing story. (I'll write more about that later).

We are staying at Botevy and her family's house. Its super beautiful, located in a higher end neighborhood. One of their families forms of generating income is by renting out rooms to people visiting on trips such as ours. We are seriously living better than we were in Hawaii, we have a fridge in our room, internet, and wait for it... AC! I havent had AC in years (not counting my few week stays at home). Its heavenly after a long hot day!

Our first day here was amazing! We went around the market place (the new market) and bought everything we needed for super cheap. For lunch we ate more pho, they seriously feed me so good here, I felt super bad for not being able to eat more. Every time I would get close to being done with one type of food they would pile more on my plate. They kept saying "Are you full?" and "You're so little." Never had I been looked at funny for having a small appetite.

After lunch we went to buy bikes, they are going to be our main source of transportation during the next few months. But, let me fill you in a little on Cambodia's traffic... its INSANE! There are exactly 2 rules. If you are the driver of a moto (moped) you must wear a helmet (the one to six+ passengers do not... yes we have actually seen 6 people fit on one moped. Note to Kara: We need to beat that) and rule number two, don't run red lights. And that one is pretty much optional. Like I said, insane. 

I will try and add some video footage later to help you get an idea.

So there are cars, bikes, touk touks (those buggies pulled by bikes) and motos, weaving in and out of each other going whatever direction they choose, paying no attention to lines, and only minimal attention to lights. It's crazy but so awesome at the same time. 

Once we bought our bikes, mines bright orange and has a "monster" energy drink sticker on it, we were thrown right into the traffic and had to follow Botevy's car to the orphanage. It was the thrill of a lifetime, not even kidding. I'm surprised we survived.

The kids at the orphanage are even more darling than I imagined. When we got there, they lined up in two rows, much like the Von Trapp family in The Sound of Music. One by one they came forward and introduced themselves, Aria and I decided we need to make flash cards in order to learn all their names. I believe there are about 32 children in all, ranging from ages 4 to 18. After the introductions they sang a few primary songs. From the moment I walked in, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. 

Four of the girls showed us a traditional dance, that I call the Neai Neai, (which were the only words I was able to pick up, which aren't even words). Later they taught me a little bit of it, I did not catch on very well. =) But I hope to have it mastered by the time I go home. 

The children do not speak English much at all, there are probably 2 or 3 of them who can communicate with us. But they are all smiles. They taught us how to play Tom and Jerry (English cartoons are big here) using signals and broken English. That is one thing I am not used to, being on the minority side of a language, but I am thankful for every minute of it. 

I don't know if I'm experiencing much culture shock, maybe because I generally think of that as a negative term. I'm more enthralled. I love it here! I love how different it is from any place I've ever been in my life. I love how different I feel here, how there is so much for me to learn. I do miss my family and friends so so so much. But I really wouldn't want to miss this opportunity for the world.